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“I’m Diana Ross” (in two ways)

You might recall the 1985 hit “Trapped” by American singer Colonel Abrams. It reached #3 here in the UK. He had one other Top 40 hit (“I’m Not Gonna Let You Go”) which I am unfamiliar with. When the first of these singles was in the chart, a friend was telling me about his relationship troubles. I can’t remember the details. Maybe his girlfriend was suggesting that they live together, or maybe he was worried that she was pregnant. Whatever it was he summed up his dilemma with a reference to the song: “I’ll end up like Colonel Abrams …” He didn’t have to add, “… you know, Trapped”.

Nearly 40 years later I feel that I should have a long list of other examples of song titles and artists that can be used to make points like this but I only have two, both relating to Diana Ross, and neither of them relating to potenitally life-changing events. I use them all the time, especially when playing pool or Uno, which we have done plenty of as a family in recent years.

If someone is taking too long to play their shot, or to put their card down, I will say, “Come on, I’m Diana Ross  here … I’m still waiting”, the title of her 1971 UK #1, as you probably know. And then, when the shot has been played, or I am about to put a card down, I have a standard answer to the question, “Whose go is it?” With a reference to my favourite song from the former Supreme’s back catalogue, from 1980, I will say, “Me … I’m Diana Ross … It’s my turn”.


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