Sad news today. The actor and comedian Tony Slattery has died aged 65. He was a schoolfriend of my brother’s, and a family friend for many years after that. He has been mentioned a few times on this site. The handful of references to him on other pages can give you a sense of our contact with him in the 1980s and 90s.

There’s a photo of a postcard that he sent to my brother from Edinburgh in 1982, in this piece about “Ulysses”. It’s just the front of the postcard, not the handwritten side. Maybe I’ll post a picture of the other side at some point, show you his handwriting, but not today.

I mentioned Tony in this piece about Rotary Telephones, which includes a photo of a phone that he gave us in 1993, a prop from the film “Peter’s Friends”. Also in that photo is the pre-recorded VHS of the film that he gave us at the same time.

That evening in August 1993 is the last time that we spent 12 uninterrupted hours in his company. We were leaving our childhood home that summer. Tony was unable to come to the Farewell Party on the Saturday night but he came for lunch during the week and stayed until late. I drove him back to his flat in Stockwell, with my brother and sister. They had been drinking champagne all afternoon. I didn’t drink in those days, so was safe for driving duties. We were in Stockwell until the early hours. More alcohol was consumed. We finally got back to West London around 3am, as I recall.

His generosity was a feature of the day. He was generous with his time, generous with mementoes from his flat, and generous earlier in the day with a house-leaving present. A few of us went by car to check out how the redecoration was going on at the place we were moving into. On the way home, driving down Turnham Green Terrace, Tony asked me to stop the car. He had to pick up something. He returned with 12 bottles of champagne, which provided the afternoon’s entertainment for most of the family, and for some friends who were visiting. Very generous.

Just before we dropped him home, he autographed one of the empty bottles, with kind words about my family.

Tony’s champagne also got the Farewell Party started the following weekend. I kept one of the bottles, waiting for a time when we could drink it together. That was over 31 years ago. I had hoped that we would meet again, and open the bottle. It has not been kept on its side through all those decades, so maybe it has gone flat or turned to vinegar.

There were other meetings and phone calls over the years. I had lengthy conversations with him in the autumn of 2001, just after I got married. I had sent an invitation to my wedding via his then agent. The Internet was not what it is now. The only reliable way to get the agent’s details was through the publication Spotlight. I visited the Spotlight office in the West End, copied the address and phone number and sent the invite about a month before our wedding day, with an explanation that I thought was clear enough. It did not reach Tony in time. We spoke on my return from honeymoon and arranged to meet the following Wednesday. He wrote down the details incorrectly, and didn’t show up. These days I would text in advance to confirm, but Tony was new to texting. His first texts to my brother were ALL IN CAPITALS! AND FULL OF EXCLAMATION MARKS!!

My wife and I bumped into him at a Janis Ian concert in 2006. He was about to appear in some anniversary performances of “The Rocky Horror Show”. That was the last time I saw him face-to-face.

Over the last year I did try and get messages to him, via the literary agent named on his Twitter bio. His memoirs were due to be published in 2023 but never appeared. I messaged to ask for an update on the book, and to ask if they could forward my good wishes to Tony. Emails and phone calls went unanswered. Nothing new there. If agents returned my emails and phone calls I might be typing these words for a publication rather than on a Blog that I maintain myself.

Rest in peace Tony. We will miss you. We were already missing you.